There I was, pottering around the Turing Isle Dog Park, minding me own business and blimey! I thought the martians had landed, or the Russians at least. Look at this!

But it was OK, it wasn’t really an invasion, it was just a retired East German shot-put champion on a day out.

Now… I’m not saying they were big or anything, but her feet came in on a separate bus.

“Oh, your pedal extremities are colossal!
To me you look just like a fossil!
You got me walkin’, talkin’ and squawkin’,
‘Cause your feet’s too big”
(Benson & Fisher. c.1939)