Lieffiie’s Graduation

I was a bit worried when we arrived at the landing point for Lieffiie’s Modelling Graduation Show, we were in a graveyard.

“Logan, you retard!” I exclaimed, “This can’t be the right place!”

But Logan insisted that it was a Gothic themed show and this is the sort of thing they’re into.

I made her turn the lighting up a bit and I spotted Ravens in a tree eating something.

“What have you got there?” I asked them.
“Eyeballs!” they said.
“Those are olives!” said Logan
“They’re ours now” said the Ravens.
(Yes, this is a Terry Pratchett joke, and no I can’t remember which book it’s from.)

Logan and I sighed and went inside.

The judges were on the stage getting ready.

On the other side of the stage there were two more judges guarding the virginal human sacrifice for the after-show party.

Scary Judge wasn’t presiding over this show, but I think this woman is her sister.

Stony-faced judge was ready on his perch. He looks difficult to impress.

“Why do you think they are all sitting down?” asked Logan

Have you seen their shoes?

Roe wasn’t judging this show either, but she was in the audience. I’m not sure you should wear white clothes Roe, they might try to eat you afterwards too and what’s that scary looking tentacle coming your way?

Oh, not to worry. False alarm. It’s just Kaly’s horns.

The presenters then announced that the models were going to demonstrate all the different Gothic styles, like American Gothic and European Gothic…

…and You May Now Applaud Gothic…

…Scary Lieffiie Gothic…

…Peephole Gothic…

…Red and Black Gothic…

…Builders’ Cleavage Gothic…

Everything was going along beautifully and then suddenly there was this ghastly sound,


everyone stops and turns round to see what it could be and it’s Logan sneezing!

She then wipes her nose on the back of her sleeve.

Embarrassed? Me? At that moment I could quite happily have crawled back into the sock drawer on my own.

But, no one seemed to care and the show went on…

…Punken Gothic…

…I can’t remember what sort of Gothic…



“Alas poor Gothic … oh hell, I’ve lost the bloody skull”

… And finally …

The Finale.

But wait, what’s that big gap at the front?

Where’s Lieffiie?

She’s demonstrating Classic Crashtard Gothic and can’t get back for the Finale )-:

Shortly after this the show finishes and the organisers and graduates come down from the stage to mingle with the audience.

And Virginal Human Sacrifice Gothic tiptoes quietly out the back door.

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