I am shocked and saddened. Dismayed and disappointed. Woebegone and wretched. Morose and melancholy I bring you a harrowing tale of heartbreak…

My good mate and trusted comrade, Paula Chunes has gone over to the dark side.

<gasp!>

No, I don’t mean she’s gone to the beach to join dog-collection man, his alts and his doctors, it isn’t quite that bad, but it is serious shi stuff… Paula has a frankenbaby!

I always thought that she and I were kindred spirits, but I should have known better when she stopped being a dog. I still miss the days when Paula was a dog, she shared many of the same tastes as me. She was always game for a Frankenbaby Brunch, Rat Burger or a Roadkill Grill. Even when she changed to become a human, I thought things were gonna be all right when she got the job at the Rat-Pizza Place. I never expected this.

It’s not the same when you bring your food home and give it a name, then you start to coo over it and you go all gooey and you let it run around the house making ridiculous noises. Before long both you and the Franeknbaby are running around the house making ridiculous noises. It doesn’t take long from there until you start going to your friends’ house and running around making ridiculous noises with the Frankenbaby.

I liked it better when she was a dog.

Sad Day.