cyclops at truth hair 01

I’ve been to Truth Hair many times over the years with Blu and Logan and I’ve seen some ugly birds there looking for hair. I mean, I’ve seen some that are ugly with a vengeance and some that are ugly and stupid  and some that have been beaten with an ugly stick. But I hadn’t seen nothing until the day that Cyclops came to get a new hair do.

cyclops at truth hair 02   BLIMEY!

cyclops at truth hair 03“What does a girl have to do to get some service in here?” she bellowed.
Everyone went quiet and it fell to me to tell her that it is self service. But Logan had clamped both hands over my mouth and I could say was “Grmmmffff, hrrrghh”.

cyclops at truth hair 04I feared for a moment that I had inadvertently said something crass in Cyclopian, because let’s face it, I’ve said something crass in most other languages. Cyclops swept the room with a long, hard, stare as Logan and I inched towards the door. Finally her gaze found the two stupid girls from the trailer park who had exclaimed “Christ! Will you look at her ******’ underbite!”. I’ll miss Sharon and Tracee, they were always good for a double flame grilled mystery offal burger with extra large fries and a lard dip when I parked the burger van outside their park. It’ll probably take Truth years to get the bloodstain out of the floorboards.

cyclops at truth hair 05Just look at those hands! You wouldn’t stand a chance. And is that a bracelet or did she just break out of somewhere?
If you enlarge the photo, you can just make out Logan and me, inching in the background.

cyclops at truth hair 06Logan and I finally made it to the door, breathing a sigh of relief and mopping a bead of sweat from each other’s brow, we sent her an LM for the big girls’ shoe shop as we left.